extrovert gets introvert time

Cabin fever. We have it. I posted this picture because my boys eat, sleep and breathe football right now, and they really need to burn off some energy. They played outside today (we had FIFTEEN full minutes of sunshine..."Get outside! QUICK!" I yelled at them....) and all they played was "tackle". Well let me say that because of the partial thaw and rain last week, and due to the colder temps this week, there is a solid layer of ice underneath all the new snow. They might as well be "tackling" on hard concrete. During the outside frolic today we had a total of two bruised cheeks, one black eye, and three bloody noses. Sigh.

So that's not really what my post is all about. Tim says I need to post pictures, and I figured it would be proper to at least explain why I picked the one I did, even if it has nothing to do with things. So there you have it.

It is 8:50pm. I have ten precious minutes left before Panera kicks me out. I have been here since 6pm. I have eaten a delicious meal, had a cup of coffee and a cookie, and have not spoken a word for three hours. (I did, however, treat the surrounding tables to a couple of newscasts and a really great sermon I was listening to, not realizing that my earbuds weren't plugged in all the way...oops.) I was supposed to have a meeting tonight that I was really looking forward to, but it was cancelled. Tim was already planning on me being gone for the evening, and his wise wife-intuition of 13 years told him I could stand to get out of the house. My yelling at him for buying chips and salsa at the store apart from my planned grocery budget for the week may have tipped him off. (My three hours at Panera cost considerably more, but we all know that's different.) Anyway, he is very intuitive of my need for replenishing, so he sent me packing. I didn't object. I'm really pretty much an extrovert. I love being with people, love being where the action is, love being with my family hanging out, love a good conversation. But once in a while I just need to be alone. I tried calling a friend to meet, but she couldn't. And I had to resist the temptation to keep trying to get someone to meet me for a good heart to heart and cup o' joe. Because tonight I think God was whispering in my heart that I just needed to be alone. Alone with Him, alone to gather my thoughts, alone to recharge. And that's just what I did. And now I'm ready for another day....

the "look"

I asked Janie to give me her best "Ten-year-old look". I think it's spot on, yes? I get lots of these looks, most of which are good-natured and in good fun....usually when mom is acting goofy and immature. There are those times when "the look" is not so good-natured, but we'll address those at perhaps another time. Anyway, Janie had a very fun "first" this week....she had her first orchestra rehearsal with Quad City Youth Prelude Strings. She's been taking violin lessons for just over a year, and this fall auditioned for the Prelude Strings ensemble. She wasn't wild about the idea, and was convinced she wasn't going to like it....at which point I told her that if I was spending $X per month on lessons only for her to play the instrument in her room with the door closed, then we needed to rethink things. So we arrived at the first rehearsal, she found her seat, they warmed up and began playing the first piece. Her first words as soon as the rehearsal was over: "Mom, thank you SO much for making me try out for this! I LOVED it!". (Yes, yes, moms do know a thing or two...) I think she thought they would all be playing in unison, and was delighted once they began the first piece to hear all of the parts coming together to create a wonderful sound! Hooray! Very fun to see a lightbulb go on in a child's mind! What a great joy it is to see your kids grow and learn and mature, even if you do get a couple of "looks" in the process! Love you, Janie!

Thanks, Mrs. G...

Today I ran across this post on the Pioneer Woman blog. PW didn't write it, but she often has a guest post-er named Mrs. G on the homeschooling section of her blog. I always enjoy Mrs. G's posts. They're very real and down to earth. She's a professional writing teacher, I believe, and has two grown children whom she homeschooled. In one particular post, she was talking about getting boys to write and how you just need to be okay with it if an integral part of their plot is that the main character poops his pants. Anyway (I digress), I always love her posts. Today's was the perfect medicine for any homeschooling mother (or any mother for that matter) who begins to have any of the following thoughts:
1. "I'm not doing enough."
2. "Whatever I am doing, I'm not doing it well enough."
3. "I should be reading War and Peace to my children during lunch."
4. "My kids will grow up to be social deviants because I didn't read War and Peace to them during lunch."
5. "Good moms are up before dawn, have had a quiet time, have run three miles, and are ready to serve a warm and nutritious breakfast to their family when they wake up."

...you get the idea... :) I think we all have days when we feel like rock stars at whatever it is we do, and then there are the days when those icky thoughts creep in and grow mold on everything, the kids are lucky if they get corn flakes for dinner, and we'd rather not speak to anyone all day if we can help it! Mrs. G's post today is one of those that puts things in perspective and reminds me to laugh at myself instead of taking everything so doggone seriously. LOVE IT. Whether you're a homeschooler or not, I think you'll enjoy the post. Thanks, Mrs. G!

Those groomsmen......

Sam: Mom, you know "bridesmaids"?
Me: Um, yes?
Sam: What are those other guys called? Grooms-minions?

......a random dialogue brought forth from the thoughts of an eight year old......

It Is What It Is...

If you read my previous post, you'll recall the star I picked up at the Walgreen's for our tree....and that my family laughed at it and said it was lame. Sigh. It lasted for a week or two on the top branch, all bent over against the ceiling. I liked it. It said, "This house ain't perfect. Get over it!". Amidst an evening of shopping prior to Christmas, Peter spotted a very pretty star made of sticks and red berries that he really liked. So we bought it and there it sits. It is very homey. Homie? I'm not calling you "homey", I'm......never mind. You get the idea.

The photo of the lame star made me think, once again, of expectations. Is this the season of expectations or WHAT? Sheesh. Now, I think I've made some big strides in trying to let go of unrealistic expectations of things/people/myself. But I'm not completely cured. Especially at Christmas time. I can so easily dwell on the "shoulds" or "coulds" of everything from family to traditions to baking and decorating. I will once again quote my friend Susanna and remind myself and anyone else listening that "IT IS WHAT IT IS". Can I say once again how I love that phrase? It has prevented me on countless occasions from jumping on the death spiral of unrealistic expectations. This Christmas, I teetered on the edge of the spiral a only a couple of times, but my favorite phrase (and my emotionally steady husband) yanked me back to reality. I'm glad, too, because we really had a pretty relaxed Christmas. I was going to make something for breakfast on Christmas morning that was really high-maintenance, but I realized I was pooped and didn't feel like it. So we had toast. Toast! I think a couple of the kids may have just eaten crackers. I had in my mind for a moment that homemade cinnamon rolls could be such a fun Christmas morning tradition! But I let it go and we had toast! (Call me crazy, but I'm seeing light from heaven and I hear angels singing!) I figured the tradition wasn't so great if mom was tired and nasty on Christmas morning because she got up so early to make the rolls so breakfast could be "special". Good grief! The kids could have cared less about rolls or toast or anything else to eat for that matter. For obvious Christmas morning reasons. So this year I feel like I had a pretty good handle on the Christmas expectations, save for the few teetering moments. I was also very proud of my mother, who later that day during the opening of gifts, handed me a plain box with a bow stuck on top and said "I got sick of wrapping". Go, mom!

Okay, now I must admit that my intent tonight when I sat down at the computer was to vent about how one of my kids crossed the line one too many times today between "cute" and "sassy". This is a recurring issue with said child, and I was ticked. (Whoever said not to take your kids' behavior personally? Wha??) I think we are at the brink of a new phase of parenting that I feel frighteningly unprepared for. Anyway, at the time of the crossing of the line I'm thinking that "this shouldn't happen". The child "should know better", "should not be disrespectful", and that "I should command more respect", etc. etc. etc.

Shouldshouldshouldshouldshouldblahblahblahblah.

But in the process of writing this painfully long post (sorry), I realize once again that it is what it is. I say that not to shrug off the incident and the responsibility to correct it. I say it to remind myself not to jump on the spiral of unrealistic expectations and think that it's all indicative of horrid parenting and children who will wind up as social deviants. (I really am that wierd...and i know I'm not the only one out there. *awkward silence* :) So thanks so much putting up with the external processing. I know I need to deal with the attitude issue, and I need to deal with my reactions to it (which are not always the most mature...). So there's a sink full of dishes that will be there in the morning for said child who needs to appreciate mom a little more. Not because I'm still mad, but because it is what it is. And I'll probably end up helping, and if we're lucky, we'll even have a good time in the process. We'll see.....

I recently read an article in a tech-y magazine about how to fail at social media. One of the top five fails was: Inconsistency.

It has been so long since I last posted that I almost forgot how to log in. Sigh. Well, since my purpose for blogging was to capture random memories that I might not otherwise remember, and since any other method of "capturing memories" is hopelessly behind (yes, I mean my photo albums..journals, etc.), then I suppose a couple of months isn't so bad. Maybe my children won't be scarred for life after all!

It is Wednesday night, and I'm sitting in the living room amidst twinkly tree lights listening to the clock tick.....enjoying the quiet. Even as the Christmas music junkie that I am, tonight I am enjoying quiet. We've had a radio station on in the van that has been playing Christmas music for weeks, and I think I've heard George Micheal's "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart...." 15 times! And this wierd old song about wanting a hippopotamus for Christmas.?? Yes, tonight it's quiet. I feel strangely calm and unstressed this year regarding Christmas. The gift-giving in our families is pretty tame, we have no official parties to attend, and I'm not feeling the need to come up with perfectly decorated cookies...or a perfectly decorated house, for that matter! I feel like I might be forgetting something, but if I am I'm blissfully ignorant! We are just enjoying Christmastime. The kids really wanted to get a star for the top of our tree this year, so I picked one up at a store and when I brought it home my entire family told me it was LAME! I insisted on putting on the tree, which is as tall as our ceilings, so the lame star (and the top branch)were kind of folded over against the ceiling. I loved the Charlie Brown-ness of it, but when we were out a couple of nights ago, Peter found a star he absolutely loved. So down came the lame star and up went Peter's pick, with full approval of the star committee. I had no idea the star was such an issue!

Someone asked Janie what some of our Christmas traditions are, and the first thing she said was that we never put gifts out under the tree until Christmas morning. I laughed because what she thought of as a tradition was really just because A) Tim and I usually don't finish wrapping everything until Christmas Eve, and B) we've always had little ones who would tear into the wrapping long before Christmas Day! I wonder if this is how lots of traditions are started - out of circumstance! It's funny to hear what sticks out in the kids' minds....I try to make so many things "meaningful"..like reading the advent story every night...and then what they remember most is that we went to Happy Joes on Christmas Eve last year!!! I sigh, but with a smile on my face, because I love that kids are kids and that you can try your hardest to make them all deep and thoughtful, but what they're really thinking about is pizza and how they're hoping to get an Anakin's Y-Wing Starfighter Lego set for Christmas. I'd like to think the meaningfulness and the advent and the profoundness of why we really celebrate Christmas is taking root in their little souls...even amidst George Michael and the song about the hippo and the lame star mom got from the Walgreen's.

Well, you're perhaps wondering what the photo above has anything to do with this post. This picture is of the Charles Bridge in Prague, Czech Republic, which I visited on my trip with my dear friend Shannon. Prague was so beautiful, and one of the things I loved about it was that it holds the history of St. Wenceslas..Good King Wenceslas, as you may remember! This happens to be one of my very favorite Christmas carols because of the solid harmonies and the story/dialogue between King W and his page...and good memories of singing it at countless Christmas engagements with my fellow madrigal friends. The whole time we were in Prague, I SO wanted to just sing that carol out loud and imagine the king and the page gathering food, wine and wood to take to "yonder peasant" by St. Agnes Fountain!

The last line of the carol..."Therefore Christian men be sure, wealth or rank possessing...Ye who now will bless the poor, shall yourselves find blessing!"

I hope you're enjoying Christmas, that you have both wierd and meaningful traditions to tell of, and that you get to hear "Good King Wenceslas" at least as many times as you hear George Michael! :)

gifts

I have been blessed beyond words in the last two weeks. Last year, two of my dear dear friends moved away...one to Ohio and one to Germany. In the last two weeks, they both celebrated their fortieth birthdays. I got to celebrate with each of them!!! Can I tell you how my cup is overflowing right now?

Thank you, Jesus, for friends near and far, and for what each and every one of them means in my life.