Tuesday, March 31, 2009
It's Tuesday afternoon. It's the end of March. It's the end of a school day. When I think back to a few years ago, that combination would have meant me at the end of my rope, pasted to the front window waiting for Tim to get home, angry if he called to say he was stuck at a job or ready to check out the minute he got home. Now, let me preface by saying that those days are certainly not a thing of the past, but they don't seem to be the norm anymore. What's different? Are the kids better behaved? Well, they're older and more independent - and that surely helps - but really it just means they can duke out their fights on their own most of the time and can get their own snacks! :) So, what....better organization around the house? Not really. Got parenting and marriage down to a expert science? Definitely not. No, I have to say that for the first time in my life, grace may actually be sinking in. Not in the trite sense of the word grace, but the kind that assures you of your identity in Christ. The kind that gently loosens your white-knuckled grip on all your expectations of yourself, your husband, your kids, your church...you name it. The kind that reminds you of how much you have to learn, but gives you the freedom to stumble through the lessons and truly trust God for today. The kind that takes all of my opinions and soapboxes and pity parties and places them in light of the cross.......whew. Humbling perspective. Of course now that I've put these thoughts into words, I'll freak out about something or other by the end of the week and put my husband through the all-too-familiar emotional spiral. :) And, as I hear my four-year-old having a temper tantrum (right now, actually) in the other room, I will resist the temptation to yell at him to "knock it off! Mommy's blogging about grace!!!" :) Yes, my pensive train of thought is officially broken, so I must go. Tuesday afternoon. End of March. End of a school day. Grace. Thanks for being pensive with me.